tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75261719102116285302011-09-28T19:09:28.979-06:00Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.comBlogger581100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-43258961077715845052011-09-06T15:15:00.002-06:002011-09-06T15:16:28.930-06:00

Please visit the recommended links for other resources.

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-66262527051606253592011-03-31T14:55:00.002-06:002011-03-31T15:08:01.528-06:00

I've taken the position of New Mexico Representative for American Adoption Congress. Within about two weeks of it becoming "official", I received an e-mail from a first-mom who had just renewed her lapsed membership. She is living in the same town as I am. I couldn't be more thrilled. I told her I've felt like I'm living in the Outback (which isn't that much of an overstatement for Southern New

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-15017713490692468132011-03-04T12:03:00.002-07:002011-03-04T12:11:08.933-07:00

I learned that Pennsylvania will be looking at legislation to open original birth records (OBC's) to adoptees. Strange thing is, when someone excitedly told me of this, I felt I "should" be excited, but really it didn't mean much.I've located my birthparents and know their names. I have my fake birth certificate that includes(supposedly, my) baby footprints. If I was given a birth name, my

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-75785085164164189392011-02-03T10:30:00.002-07:002011-02-03T10:34:52.451-07:00

**Important Advocacy Opportunity for Birthparents*American Adoption Congress is asking everyone to circulate word about this important project (info below) via all available channels- social media, blogs, web sites, fliers, word of mouth, etc. Feel free to copy the verbiage for your postings-Those who oppose open access to original birth certificates for adoptees claim that birthparents will be

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-11210972214315335722011-01-30T08:30:00.002-07:002011-01-30T08:52:44.081-07:00

A conversation with a counsellor friend of mine yesterday has my inner-wheels turning. She was remarking that in recent interactions on adoption with 5 young (~17-22) adoptees, she observed a markedly different "comfort level" than that she has seen in those of my generation (40's).The chats my friend was having with the adoptees weren't counselling sessions, so their scope was narrow. But the

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-65180385068391362382010-12-20T10:46:00.003-07:002010-12-20T11:25:22.735-07:00

The film "Mother and Child" is available to rent now. It's a layered look at adoption- characters include 1st Mom, adoptee, relinquishing Mom, and adopting couple. Perhaps that the stories were so spread around is the reason I was emotionally able to get through it. (Or perhaps I should be thanking my defense mechanisms.) Whatever the case, it helped me to cry- which I can rarely do- and it was

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-81472436874938813782010-12-02T15:25:00.005-07:002010-12-03T09:02:58.167-07:00

I recently received a nice card from my Mother, who hasn't initiated a contact with me in several years. (I have contacted her during that time, usually once every 6-9 months.) Her words were really kind and she looks forward to chatting. She signed her name in its ethnic spelling (Ukrainian)- that felt like a little gift to me.When I do talk to her, I want to ask about the spelling. I also have

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-58541581678437321372010-11-21T05:47:00.003-07:002010-11-21T05:50:47.528-07:00

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-58606877073058162892010-11-12T08:59:00.008-07:002010-11-18T10:41:20.630-07:00

Today I became aware of a news story about a young married couple who filed for annulment upon learning that they were siblings separated at birth. A therapist commented, "This is a terrible trauma for them. They lost each other as babies and now they have lost each other again. They have been bereaved twice."It's hard to imagine being in such a situation. The article brought two things to my

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-83541559709205140492010-10-26T08:59:00.004-06:002010-10-28T08:44:20.052-06:00

Working my way through Nancy Verrier's "Coming Home to Self." Naturally, lots to think about and work on, and in the midst of it, an epiphany. The thing that has struck me is this thought, phrased quite simply- "I can't believe I've lived without a mother like this, and for so long. How did I even do it?!" I'm putting down the book to reflect on this for a few days.

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-32907773078463443952010-10-14T14:17:00.009-06:002010-10-15T15:40:55.670-06:00

Each evening during the Adoption Crossroads conference (this past month), conference organizer Joe Soll hosted an informal hospitality suite which, wonderfully, was attended by several of the conference presenters. Attending a social hour amidst those guests (such as authors) who have been so influential for me felt strange at first- a little like being amongst celebrities or superheroes or

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-9568603064886931272010-10-06T14:58:00.010-06:002010-10-11T15:46:18.901-06:00

When I visit blogs on adoption and if I like the tone and the work of blog, I like to visit some of that blog's links. My most recent visit took me to "Adopters Against Adoption". The site entries date to 2003, and the organization may no longer exist. The existing entries are sobering. The site seems to be (or have been) an outlet for adoptive parents who have been traumatized by their adoptive

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-49779414772312672252010-10-03T17:35:00.006-06:002010-10-03T18:01:57.285-06:00

Two days after the Adoption Crossroads conference I was talking with a friend and said how much pain I was having following the experience. (Mistakenly) I engaged in some Q&A with her about "adoption" and soon found myself crying, desperate and frustrated. At that point she asked, "Why do you keep going to these if it makes you so upset?"I heard the answer in my mind but I didn't speak it. I

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-19858464801108950692010-10-01T09:43:00.003-06:002010-10-01T14:15:52.941-06:00

I'm very awkward about (the mere existence of?) my blog and website on adoption when it comes to the "outside world". When I met with a web guy the other day, I found myself warding off feelings of shame. I was trained as an artist which, in academia today, sadly, means that (a)anything that can be associated with sentimentality is a negative, and (b)anything that directly reveals itself as

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-52933144132622528492010-09-29T14:44:00.003-06:002010-09-29T15:03:50.639-06:00

Fans of author/adoptee Joe Soll: if you love his books, you should see the conference he puts on. This past weekend I attended Shedding Light on the Adoption Experience, VI in New York City. Joe had great programming, and I met some of my heros in the field- Betty Jean Lifton, Ann Fessler, and best of all, Nancy Verrier. I can't thank Joe, and all, enough for the wonderful experience.This was the

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-58677041850083612072010-09-21T11:25:00.003-06:002010-09-23T05:58:21.206-06:00

Seven down, 43 to go. Illinois has become the 7th state to grant adoptees access to their origiinal birth certificates. The first adoptee to receive his certificate is 73 years old- little chance that he will find a parent alive, but at 73 he is finally holding the truth in his hand.I have a copy of my falsified birth certificate, which includes my adoptive parents' names and little else. When I

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-2598770828617265942010-08-13T08:00:00.002-06:002010-08-13T08:38:31.954-06:00

This is the topic of an interesting blog entry (link attached) which I've just commented on. (Hope you'll check it out- it expands on what I'm talking about here.)I think it's an especially important topic for adoptees to be aware of.A medical doctor once told me that my psychologist had listed me as having "narcissistic personality disorder". I hadn't heard the term before, but I pretty quickly

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-37205474833256201842010-08-05T08:53:00.006-06:002010-08-05T13:39:32.379-06:00

An article in yesterday's New York Times titled "After Haiti Quake, the Chaos of U.S. Adoptions," has left me nauseous and heartsick. I've attached a link to this very important update on the Haitian situation. Some particular verbiage heightened my reaction to the article...Phrase 1: "Adoption bonanza," describing the explosion of supposedly orphaned/"adoptable" children and the American flurry

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-44179813183753978672010-07-31T10:09:00.003-06:002010-08-02T15:43:37.863-06:00

After a delay due to technical difficulty, it's here- excerpts from my conversation with new friend and late-discovery adoptee Jenni Dyman...On June 23, I traveled to Albuquerque, NM, to meet fellow adoptee Jenni Dyman. Jenni is currently the New Mexico Representative for the American Adoption Congress, which is how we became acquainted.Jenni is a late-discovery adoptee- the term refers to

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-67451528299987642282010-07-28T14:54:00.005-06:002010-07-29T13:34:19.651-06:00

I hadn't heard this one before. Prospective adoptive parents are identifying themselves as "paper pregnant" once their written applications to adopt are filed. Through adoption.com I was able to find some discussions amongst adoptive mothers about the terminology. Broad consensus was that the term was helpful to them in understanding their own "gestation" periods- the time when they are

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-26954875200227802002010-07-25T12:38:00.002-06:002010-07-26T14:33:52.648-06:00

I've been researching starting a support group. I've thought about it off and on for some time, usually coming to two conclusions: Pro- it would be great to have a support resource, and Con- it seems like I have to be the captain of every ship I board in life... please couldn't someone else initiate this? Well, no one has, and I've recently shed one of the boats I was captaining, so now may be

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-45921839112561066882010-07-20T08:56:00.003-06:002010-07-20T09:36:56.106-06:00

Once in a while, when I see a small child standing quietly, wide-eyed, and curious, I find myself suddenly overtaken with anger. It's a feeling of wanting to say, "Don't you realize how vulnerable you are!? Can't you be a little more vigilant? What's wrong with you?" Then I consciously chase my racing mind down, grab my own arm, and tell myself to calm down. I remind myself that what I'm seeing

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-76633972180233464172010-06-30T10:01:00.003-06:002010-06-30T10:55:20.343-06:00

I'm finishing up transcribing my recent chat with late-discovery adoptee Jenni Dyman, and in the meantime have noted an interesting parallel in the news- the recently discovered Russian spies/agents.News articles report that some of the Russian spies living as couples have children together. So, depending on the age/cognitive level of the children, it would seem that the kids could be having a "

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-26088338885415976982010-06-16T11:00:00.003-06:002010-06-18T09:27:01.958-06:00

For those of us who have "always" known we were adopted, adoption is an ingrained component (whether conscious or unconscious) of our identities. I can only try to imagine what it would be like to find out later in life. Maybe like dropping through a trap door. Then that feeling you get when you look at your feet while standing in shallow ocean waves- the water comes in, then draws the sand

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-45681631307983788332010-06-10T10:07:00.004-06:002010-06-10T14:01:23.606-06:00

(*A follow-up to my entries on Clonebeing. After receiving the great comments from the book's author, Stephen Levick, I've come to discover his web site- do check it out- http://www.drlevick.com/.)I saw a brightly colored bumper sticker on a car in the parking lot yesterday that said, "Adoption is Awesome". My reaction was, "No it isn't. What the hell are you talking about?" followed by, "Who/

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-69567966542908586922010-05-24T07:23:00.004-06:002010-05-25T08:24:35.416-06:00

As I continue my way through Stephen E. Levick's book, "Clonebeing: Exploring the Psychological and Social Dimensions," another chapter is speaking strongly to me in its relationship to adoption. Levick addresses the dimension of "replacement" as a motivation in producing a clone. His Replacement Model centers largely on bereaved parents wishing to "replace," or fill the hole left by, a deceased

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-35553400791811790832010-05-16T17:10:00.004-06:002010-05-18T06:05:03.372-06:00

I'm currently reading "Clonebeing: Exploring the Psychological and Social Dimensions," by psychaitrist Stephen Levick. I find the concept of cloning very unappealing, so I don't tend to want to think on it much, but the book's cover image caught my eye. It is a photograph of a man apparently in his 20's sitting beside his purported clone. They do appear to be the same man at different life stages

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-53156547961752673632010-05-09T13:40:00.001-06:002010-05-09T13:42:41.332-06:00

It's the hardest day in the year, in a way. My thoughts/wishes/prayers/meditations- however you say it- go out to all moms & kids today.Love to all-Joy

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-83932185238101195262010-04-29T09:29:00.001-06:002010-04-29T09:31:38.263-06:00

AAC’s next annual conference is being held in Orlando, Florida, April 14-17. Watch for registration information this coming spring- www.americanadoptioncongress.orgAnd, a conference closer on the horizon--Shedding Light on the Adoption Experience, VIAn Educational Conference about Realities: The Lifelong Effects of Adoption and the Need for Family PreservationSeptember 24-25, 2010, Park Central

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-50919325201657569882010-04-27T10:32:00.001-06:002010-04-27T10:34:15.876-06:00

During the AAC conference and immediately afterward, I had several “big picture” thoughts, one of which would probably sound peculiar to people. The summary was, “It [attending the conference] is like volunteering to be kicked by mules. But in a good way.” I’ll explain. The emotions that the conference evoked in me were exhausting. I arrived home feeling like I’d barely survived a stampede of

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-87153780850383703992010-04-22T22:14:00.004-06:002010-04-24T10:16:41.057-06:00

No matter how much I think about, or try to understand, the experience of being adopted- I so often land at this one "conclusion"..."No one is coming back for you, Joy."No one is coming back for you.

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-81322487602116446712010-04-19T14:52:00.003-06:002010-04-19T15:19:42.326-06:00

A new friend from the AAC conference and I were reflecting on how many folks there could be out there who don't know that support resources such as American Adoption Congress exist. I was reminded of all the time that I was unaware that adoption-healing, and the politics of adoption, were finally being talked about.Not long after our conversation, I was looking through the American Classifieds

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-10740208456567149502010-04-08T09:23:00.008-06:002010-04-08T10:48:05.222-06:00

In her book, "Trauma and Recovery: From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror," Judith Herman posits that debilitating psychological effects of trauma are the same across the entire range of traumatic experience. (Traumas she discusses in the book include the experience of physical and sexual abuse, warfare, and traumatic events such as accidents and natural disasters, among others.) But Herman also

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-60987508815330794342010-04-05T05:57:00.007-06:002010-04-06T08:24:58.828-06:00

Attendees at the recent American Adoption Congress conference included a small number of non-triad-membmers. One of these folks identified herself to me as "an Outsider". The "Outsiders" in attendance were interested, concerned professionals seeking to learn more about the adoption experience."If the only ones advocating to abolish slavery had been the slaves, we would still have slavery," the

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-72634126831502736602010-04-01T15:01:00.006-06:002010-04-01T18:01:51.530-06:00

The recent American Adoption Conference was not the first organized forum on adoption that I have attended. The very first was a Healing Weekend led by Joll Soll of Adoption Crossroads. Joe's Healing Weekends are incredibly intense, and interpersonal, experiences. I remember trying to anticipate what the experince would be like, and one of my biggest fears going in to it- the potential for rage.

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-2001552036324418672010-03-29T03:18:00.005-06:002010-03-29T16:09:16.558-06:00

An American Adoption Congress conference is not like a common, professional conference. One of the speakers described the tone. "At an AAC conference, you can grab someone in the hall and ask for a hug if you need one." (I'd had the experience earlier that day.)This year's AAC conference, held in Sacramento, March 18 - 21, was my first. It couldn't have been of higher caliber in any way! (

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-86829987229865920122010-03-11T10:47:00.001-07:002010-03-11T10:47:37.393-07:00

“Being”Adoptee and author Joe Soll speaks of people as having “different ways of ‘being’ in the world.” He points to the fact that these differences have the potential of being quite pronounced in an adoptive household, given that there are no shared genetics. I was once told by a therapist that my adoptive parents and I were “cut from an entirely different cloth.”Dad’s a business professor, Mom’

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-59668591095150433632010-03-08T14:40:00.002-07:002010-03-09T15:31:10.949-07:00

OrphanedThe recent movie “Orphan” has generated discussion in the adoption circle. In a nutshell, the “orphan” adopted by a young couple turns out to be a Damian of sorts, leaving the couple desperate as to what to do with their adopted, spawn of Satan, child.It’s very reasonable that the adoption advocacy community would give attention to the unfortunate framing of adoption presented in “Orphan”

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-25268064711866974472010-03-04T15:19:00.000-07:002010-03-04T15:21:00.820-07:00

Small kids love talking with their parents about anything and everything. Life’s an open book. One day, perhaps in early in adolescence, kids start holding some things back. Individuating from one’s parents involves a certain sense of privacy. New boundaries go up as kids break away into their own adulthood.I wonder what it means for adoptees when the first “break” in shared (talked about)

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-82986118393646681392010-03-01T16:33:00.000-07:002010-03-01T16:34:21.583-07:00

40 was a hard year for me. It was a year of reflection on aging, loss, missed opportunities. Yes, there was reflection on accomplishments, too. Perhaps most significantly, the number 40 represented- with heavy force- the reality that I will not in my lifetime be having a child. I have varying degrees of sadness- and not- about this. Working through it, I’ve discovered a curious notion of

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-79242065598905876302010-02-25T16:22:00.001-07:002010-02-25T16:24:04.659-07:00

How can we know ourselves? Never by reflection, but only through action. Begin at once to do your duty and immediately you will know what is inside you.-Johann Wolfgang von GoetheSomething came to me when I came across this quote by Goethe...When I started a search for my (first) mother I was aware that I was also trying to find myself. What I never anticipated was how fast the “finding myself”

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-81484324429964858332010-02-16T14:16:00.004-07:002010-02-18T09:40:15.588-07:00

Chris is a shy little guy, 5 years old and black. His parents, Allie and Hal, are white. When I met Chris, I couldn’t help wanting to reach out and say, “I’m adopted, too! Can I help you?” I’m not sure exactly what in the world “Can I help you?” meant, but I wanted to say it. I think I wanted to invite him to talk about being adopted.I was aware that my gaze must surely be telling him that I was

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-82070362421449303682010-02-11T18:28:00.008-07:002010-02-15T05:03:46.219-07:00

"She looks like her mother," one said."Oh, I think she looks like Dave," the other countered.I don't look like either of my adoptive parents. I don't now, and I didn't then, when I was 10. My parents' friends were, evidently, seeing what they expected to see.I stood there chagrined and anxious, knowing that, rightfully, clarification was order. I was adopted. Yet I knew clarification wouldn't

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-90025954449324000692010-02-08T10:39:00.005-07:002010-02-09T09:20:03.421-07:00

In his book, "Coming to our Senses: Body and Spirit in the Hidden History of the West," Morris Berman devotes an entire chapter to the mirror, exploring how its invention and proliferation affected human perceptions of Self. Berman's concepts gave me an idea for an experiment. (I was in art school and working on a series of self portraits at the time, which might have influenced my idea...)I

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-5349384057182512992010-02-04T12:29:00.003-07:002010-02-05T11:06:34.584-07:00

And since you know you cannot see yourself,so well as by reflection, I, your glass,will modestly discover to yourself,that of yourself which you yet know not of. -William ShakespeareWe’re all "living mirrors," interacting and reflecting to one another the entire range of interpersonal emotions, such as love, affection, envy, and desire. These relationships are what give us our lives. There is

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-73477012682854752762010-01-25T19:01:00.002-07:002010-01-25T19:03:15.086-07:00

Community and CrisisCrisis, such as the recent earthquake in Haiti, can bring out the best in people. People rush in to help and rescue others, often at great risk to themselves. The world watches and an instinctive outpouring of compassion and aid rushes forth.Crisis also invites trouble, such as looting. Akin to looting, there is the danger of an opportunism you may not have thought of- the

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-76387779285263615652010-01-17T14:23:00.002-07:002010-01-23T11:06:35.102-07:00

I recently joined a national adoption-advocacy group. I’ve been enjoying the thought of the camaraderie of it and have been especially looking forward to attending my first national conference, (hosted by them).A couple days ago, I had some confusion about using a feature of the organization’s web site and I e-mailed their contact person, asking her if she could re-send a previous e-mail I’d

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-68772880858967458232010-01-15T06:30:00.002-07:002010-01-23T11:12:15.814-07:00

I happened by accident upon a book title on Amazon one day. The book's title, “Adoption Healing,” struck me deeply. I had never heard, or imagined, those two words put together before. It was a curious (and promising) idea, I thought. I ordered the book and it arrived that same week.And then it sat. And it sat more. It sat so long I began to wonder why I hadn’t just taken it to the used book

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-56821324103951635022010-01-11T14:58:00.002-07:002010-01-23T11:15:05.251-07:00

Natural disasters, warfare, physical and sexual assault, and domestic abuses including verbal abuse; all are recognized as instances in which someone has been hurt. Society offers help to the sufferers of these traumas in the form of medical attention, counseling and legal protections. Most pointedly, society extends its empathy to them.Then there are adoptees… Adoptees are stolen away from what

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-9375667036629576912010-01-07T18:23:00.002-07:002010-01-23T11:18:07.180-07:00

“I really love used clothes,” I pointed to out to my friend as I showed off my new, hand-me-down sweater. “It makes you feel connected,” she said. A light went on. Yes, it was a connection! And what’s more personal than clothing? I continued thinking on this later. Was it the sentiment behind the gift of the sweater that was so special? Was it some actual juju, or DNA embedded in the fibers, that

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-75742514231090801302010-01-03T19:03:00.002-07:002010-01-23T11:23:33.131-07:00

My Dad (adoptive Dad) organized the mail on the dining room table. Twice a year there would appear letters from the Children's Home of Pittsburgh, the adoption agency that handled my adoption. One of the letters would include a return envelope. I somehow understood that the envelope was to be returned with a check in it. I imagined the check to be a thank-you present, or an obligation, to the

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-12604132869537759252010-01-01T12:00:00.001-07:002010-01-17T08:20:53.030-07:00

December's movie night topic was the movie "Sommersby" (with Richard Gere & Jodie Foster). The story goes that Gere's character has been in battle in the Civil War and returns "home" to wife Jodie Foster. But "home" is actually his new, adopted home. The Gere character has assumed the identity of "Sommersby", a comrade who was killed in battle who happened to look just like Gere.(Far-fetched, I

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-55724561149233376642009-12-28T14:42:00.001-07:002010-01-17T08:14:44.635-07:00

This month’s topic- “What’s in a Name?”- will wrap up on Thursday with a “media night” discussion on the movie “Sommersby”. Watch it prior to Thursday if you can.Today’s entry is simply random thoughts regarding naming that I find interesting to think about.Boxer George Foreman named all four of his sons “George”. He once joked that this cleaned the slate from his accidentally calling someone by

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-23259707974407865582009-12-24T09:54:00.001-07:002010-01-17T08:09:44.349-07:00

A current discussion in the adoption advocacy movement focuses on the significance of naming, particularly in the context of international adoptions. Advocates ask, “Would it be a benefit to an adoptee to carry an original name, or a name native to his/her country's language, with him/her to life in America?” The proposition raises many considerations.When a Chinese child is placed in a white,

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-91604719303310571052009-12-20T14:11:00.001-07:002010-01-17T08:04:55.912-07:00

I think it's safe to say, given the popularity of "name books", that there must be a fair degree of belief that names, as words, have inherent meaning. What if a word sounds great but its meaning is not desirable- rule it out? What if a name meaning is just perfect but the word isn't pretty sounding- use it anyway? I'd imagine that phonetics and meaning have to be in just the right balance in

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-72498742448857151632009-12-14T06:21:00.001-07:002010-01-17T07:58:05.981-07:00

At every Miller Family Reunion, out come a sprawling collection of photos, articles, even memorabilia sometimes. (I'm not sure where they indefinitely continue coming up with new material.) The Millers take turns poring over history, reflecting and affirming the identities of more Millers and Crawfords and Roberts' in the archives. I peek over shoulders at the photos, enjoying seeing

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-53783128096032969212009-12-10T06:59:00.001-07:002009-12-10T07:03:26.670-07:00

WHAT’S IN A NAME?“Identity Crisis”Prominent 20th Century psychologist Erik Erikson is an interesting “fit” for adoptees- starting with his name. Erikson was born out of an extramarital affair and during his childhood his biological father’s identity was kept secret from him. Erikson was adopted by a stepfather and came to bear the stepfather’s last name (Homberger). But in adulthood, after

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7526171910211628530.post-61649684721196267262009-12-06T15:37:00.001-07:002009-12-06T15:39:34.286-07:00

A name is a person’s “very first thing”. Bestowed by a parent or caretaker, one’s name is the pivot of one’s identity. “I am……”The naming of someone is never taken lightly. There are months of discussion, books on name-meanings. Names are chosen for their connotations and for their sounds, to establish connection to others, to establish connection to heritage and to self.To my knowledge and from

Adoption Experience Workshopnoreply@blogger.com0